Don’t Be Afraid to Speak Up

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I want to tell you a little story. What may seem like a small insignificant moment in a life can actually be pretty powerful for someone who struggles with confidence and self-worth. Let me explain…

Last week I had sports massage scheduled at the usual place I go for massages. I had a great experience at my last appointment and really felt like it helped with my injury. The masseuse I had last time wasn’t available but that was okay…everyone I’ve ever had there has been great!

So I made my appointment and went. The visit started off normal. The woman asked where I was having issues and what I wanted to focus on. I told her my knee, IT band, hips, and low back are where I’m having issues. I was clear about where my exact injury was and what I wanted done. The massage started and I noticed she was heavily focusing on my calf. Not only that, but she wasn’t really massaging. Essentially she was just finding pressure points and then pressing on them for minutes at a time causing severe pain. I tried to speak up and give her some hints towards what I actually needed done. I even tried to give her the benefit of the doubt that maybe this was a special technique or that she’d get to what I’d asked for later in the massage. I kept holding out waiting to feel good but as time ticked away and she did more of her ‘prolonged squeezing’ I was getting more and more frustrated. She was doing a lot of stuff with one hand which also led me to think she was either on her phone or doing other things while giving me the “massage”. I didn’t think it was possible to leave a massage more stressed out than when you came in. 

After holding my neck for a few minutes (on a severely painful pressure point BTW), she announced that she was done. I popped up from the table immediately. I just couldn’t wait to get out of there. I’ll also add that she was eating something throughout the entire hour…yay for chewing noises!

And then I thought to myself for a minute…I just spent a lot of money to try to do something positive for my body and mind, and it basically was a total waste. I wanted to do something about it. But me? I’m not one for conflict or confrontation and I felt butterflies in the pit of my stomach at the thought of speaking with the front desk.

I didn’t want to feel like I was tattling on the masseuse or just trying to get a free massage. I also didn’t want to come across as a rude complainer who’s never satisfied. (See how my brain jumps to the worst case scenario!) I actually paced around in the vestibule of the building contemplating what I should do. And then it hit me….SPEAK UP. (“Don’t be a weak doormat, damnit!”–> the actual words I used)

Too many times I go through life and just let people walk all over me, take advantage of me, or not treatment with the level of respect that your normal, everyday person is entitled to. I don’t know if it’s because of my appearance (I appear pretty weak right now) or how I present myself, but it happens….I usually let it happen.

Something clicked in me as I debated what to do, though. I saw this, this small moment, as an opportunity to stand up for myself.

I walked back inside, went to the front desk, asked to speak to a manager, and a few minutes later was in a friendly conversation with the woman in charge. She was very apologetic about the whole thing and said she’d give me a call later on to work everything out. She even offered to give me a free massage from another provider right there and then. (When she called later she credited my account with a free massage which was very nice of her.)

I walked out of there with a sort of high. Maybe even a little pride in myself? It felt good to speak up and let my voice be heard even in this small way. The manager even said she was appreciative of my feedback because they want to ensure their guests experiences are excellent.

Usually, I would have left that type of situation angry, frustrated, and defeated. Then there would be a continuing cycle of all those feelings because I would be mad I didn’t do anything about it! But that day, I decided to break the cycle.

So why am I sharing all of this? Well, because I know I’m not the only one out there that goes through this internal battle. I’m not the only one that doesn’t ask for what they need and that doesn’t speak their mind. And that sucks!

WE HAVE WORTH, PEOPLE!

Our voices matter and even in the smallest of circumstances we have the right (and the obligation!) to protect our space in this world. Because if we don’t do it, who will?

Sure, silence keeps you out of conflict. But it also gives the rest of the world approval to treat you however they see fit. By trying to protect the feelings of others or avoid feeling uncomfortable yourself, you’re actually perpetuating the problem. By staying in an inferior position you’re actually diminishing your self-confidence even more and opening yourself up to be stepped on again in the future.

Believe it or not, people appreciate and respect straightforwardness. When you have conviction behind your words and believe in what you’re saying, you exude an ere of self-assurance.

And just like the old saying goes, you don’t get what you don’t ask for! So never be afraid to be honest, to speak your truth, to ask for what you deserve, to right what’s been wronged, to stand your ground, to MAKE YOURSELF HEARD.

Okay, stream of consciousness DONE. Thanks for indulging a little thinking out loud from me! I hope this post served as a little reminder to you that YOU MATTER. So next time you have the chance…speak up! We’re listening. 🙂

Have you ever had an experience similar to this?

Do you struggle to ‘speak up’?

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Today’s Healthy Help: Went to pick up some tickets for my parents.

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